House II

Surely no one would rebuild, let alone move back into, the house from the first movie? Right? Well, yeah. House II takes place in an entirely different house with an entirely different cast and absolutely no connection to the first film save for the title.

House II finds Jesse (Arye Gross; Exterminator 2, Tequila Sunrise) returning to his family’s home after being given away by his parents on the night they died. Jesse brings along his girlfriend(Lar Park Lincoln; Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood) and together they move into the old mansion. They are joined later that night by his friend Charlie (Jonathan Stark; Fright Night, Project X) and his singer girlfriend Lana (Amy Yasbeck; Robin Hood: Men in Tights, Dracula: Dead and Loving It). While investigating his family’s history from the old library in the house, Jesse discovers that his great-great-grandfather may have been buried with a rare and valuable crystal skull. So he grabs Charlie and they go out to dig up his grave. They didn’t know that the moment they opened that coffin and got that skull, they would be going on a series of adventures from prehistoric times to the old west trying to keep it from evil forces.

I first saw House II when I was younger and right out of the gate I am going to say that nostalgia may play a factor in my review, but I am going to try and be as objective as I can here. House II has some good qualities and some bad ones. For those of you looking for horror, you probably will want to walk right past this one (although the cover would lead you to believe otherwise). Yes, there are zombie cowboys in it, but two of them and only one of those is even scary. For anyone looking for an adventure film for parents and their younger children to watch together, then you guys have a better shot with this.

The story of House II is loose and doesn’t go into much detail more than moving the plot forward. It is just one of those movies where you find yourself just kinda going, “Ok I am good with that. No need to explain”. I didn’t find this lack of detail lowering the entertainment quality of the film, but more details here and there would have been appreciated. Now that is not to say that there isn’t any story here. There is just enough to give a bit of history on the skull and Jesse’s grandfather for the setup and relationships between the characters through acting instead of long expositions (what a novel idea).

The cast is very entertaining in House II. You have veteran actor Royal Dano (Ghoulies II, Something Wicked This Way Comes) as Gramps, being his entertaining self even with a ton of prosthetics and makeup on. Arye Gross and Jonathan Stark as Jesse and Charlie respectively and their chemistry is great. Even though it is not explained in the movie, you can tell these characters have been best friends for a long time. We also get some great actors in smaller roles including John Ratzenberger, Bill Mahr, Amy Yasbeck, and a cameo by Kane Hodder who was also the stunt coordinator.

Let’s talk about John Ratzenberger a bit. I wish this trend of casting actors from Cheers would have continued and maybe we would have seen Rhea Pearlman or Ted Danzen in the later movies (we don’t). Nevertheless, John’s character in House II is one of the most entertaining things about this movie. As the zany electrician Bill Towner, he is there to work on some wiring and follows the boys on one of their adventures before leaving like it was no big deal. Not much of a role, but John adds so much charisma that I couldn’t help but wish he was somehow written into the rest of the film.

While there are many “bad guys” in the movie, the big bad is the other zombie cowboy Slim Razor; voiced by Frank Welker who is probably best known as voicing Fred Jones in the Scooby-Doo franchise. Slim is the only scary thing in the movie and honestly, he is not that scary, but he has a great look and gives off an evil aura. The complete antithesis to Gramps friendlier persona.

Speaking of zombies, the makeup and prosthetics on Gramps and Slim are great. Slim looks like beef jerky dried over a skeleton while Gramps looks more like a preserved mummy. Maybe not your typical zombies with bloody parts hanging out, their makeup helps convey what kind of character they represent.

Other effects in the movie are hit or miss. Some look like a lot of work and care was put into them and others look like they ran out of money. No e of it is horrible, but all of it is campy.

In fact, that describes the whole movie. House II is full of camp. It is in the soundtrack selection, the different characters and creatures, the story, and the various settings the film has. C’mon, a three-foot caterpillar that looks and acts like a puppy? Big camp here. Although I still want that caterpillar as a pet.

Even with all the campiness, House II’s comedy is actually pretty good. There are plenty of funny lines from multiple characters and a few pretty funny situations and reactions to what is happening around them. When reviewing the first film, I commented that moving the needle more towards either comedy or horror would make a better film. Well in this case they did move it toward the comedy, and I think it did improve the entertainment quality a bit. Do I miss the horror? Well if I thought of this as a horror film then I probably would, but I don’t put this into the horror genre personally (unlike what it is classified as above).

How can I talk about this film and not talk about the house itself? I think this one surpasses the original by miles. I don’t remember if it was explained, but you get the feeling this was an ancient home. The castle-like exterior also looks amazing giving off a luxurious and somewhat intimidating ambiance. Inside, the combinations of styles between the ‘50/’60s decor and the Aztec/Mayan architecture make the house feel generational to the family. While the outside is an actual building, the inside appears to be a set, but it still all looks very solid.

House II is not a great film. It won’t be a classic. To horror fans, this will probably be a pitiful showing, but if you have kids who wouldn’t be too scared by Slim and want a good way to introduce them to “horror” this may be a great first film. For a fantasy-adventure-comedy film, House II is pretty good. It has some action, some comedy, lots of different settings, and quality characters. Could the story use some improvement? Yes. Are the effects great? Eh, they are ok. Will I watch it again? Yes. So I say mount your crystal skull on your mantel, pop House II into your player, relax on your couch, and save me some popcorn!

Check out our other reviews of the House franchise!

House
House III: The Horror Show
House IV

Rating:

Jack Savage:

I really want (to afford) a replica of the crystal skull. If anyone has a line on one, let me know in the comments!

Oh. The movie. Right. Have some fun and go see it.

 

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