Horror, it’s seemingly one of the cinemas most subjective children. Almost as old as cinema itself, the roots of most horror films trail back further than any medium known to man. In its infancy, humankind has told stories that have scared the living shit out of us for as long as we could communicate. The jump to literature, then the stage, and eventually silver screen was only natural.
So, what horror stories made our skin crawl? What moments left us awake at night tucking our feet beneath the blanket? Was it the grim deaths of Jason Voorhees? Or was it the more subtle approaches of invisible figures keeping the tension throughout the film?
After grabbing all our team together in a brightly lit room, we boiled down the moments that made us re-evaluate the need for adult diapers.
JACK SAVAGE: THE EXORCIST III (LEGION)
The Exorcist has always been up there as one of the most groundbreaking, terrifying films ever made. My own heart jumped out of my chest during the particular stairs scene when the titular protagonist/antagonist comes hurtling down the stairs contorted and upside down in some strange spider formation that absolutely caught me off guard. My mind was shaken with the now infamous “Let Jesus fuck you!” scene. I myself saw this movie at around age 14. It was released late in Ireland, landing in May of ‘74, but very quickly being banned by the church. Once the Catholic Church got wind of this movie, everyone in Ireland had to not watch it, ever, because we would go to hell and be poked with pitchforks for all eternity. But, thankfully, it was re-released on home video and as I recall had a limited run in theatres in 1994.
While The Exorcist gave me a good fright, our critic Jack Savage got his scare from a film a little down the line. What got under his skin in The Exorcist III?
I would also like to say that this guy has every horror movie known to man and has accumulated and digested more horrific imagery than a hipster in a Jackson Pollock gallery so if he says it’s scary it’s most definitely scary! You can check out his full review of The Exorcist III here.
Here is one of his scariest film moments:
“Horror is my absolute favorite film genre, but with that comes difficulty in narrowing down the moment that scared me the most in these films. However, after much thought and even re-watching some of the top scenes that came to mind, I would have to say the moment that always gives me a good scare is the nurse’s death in The Exorcist III (Legion). One of my favorite films, this scene gets me almost every time. [Spoiler Alert] The viewer sees the nurse enter a room across from her station. She unlocks the door, turns on the light, and walks in, thus showing there is no apparent danger. The hall security guard steps away from his post. The nurse then leaves the room, turning off the light and shutting the door. As she turns away from the door, a figure cloaked in white with some large shears quickly and quietly bursts from the room the nurse had just left and decapitates the nurse (off-screen). This is a jump-scare done right. The camera angles, the lighting, the sound work, and the setup lead to a masterful moment in terror that never gets old.”
Sometimes the quietest and simplest jump scares are the most effective!
I think the subjectivity of horror is one of its greatest boons. Out of every genre of film, it seems horror has the most subgenres of any category, making absolutely sure there is a film for everyone to watch and never sleep again.
Our critics are veterans of facing scary footage, so what shook the socks off our Fool on the Hill?
FOOL ON THE HILL: THE CONJURING (2014)
I think The Conjuring gets a bad rap. It is true that it suffers from debilitating sequelitis, but before it developed sequels, there was merely one and what a quivering mess that film made me. In its simplicity, it was obvious I should have seen it coming and I didn’t. During the opening minutes, The Conjuring had a mother playing hide and clap with her daughter (Marco Polo but with claps). The woman wanders the house asking the girl to clap while she listens. She follows the claps into a bare room with the camera focused on the wardrobe. As it opens, she slowly gets closer and closer asking for another clap. Two arms appear out from between the hanging coats giving a clap. The mother shouts found you as the little girl appears behind her from the door saying that she wasn’t even close! Chilling!
But later in the film a more directly threatening moment comes that includes the clap. As the lead character descends into a basement with nothing to light her path but a match in the darkness she hears a voice say, “Wanna play hide and clap?” Two hands appear over her shoulder from the darkness, clap, and blow the match out. Double whammy! The Conjuring is filled with masterfully chilling scenes. The one that got our critic is another masterwork, here’s what they had to say:
“It is rare that a movie truly scares me anymore. Occasionally a film will come out that is truly terrifying without the use of gore or jump scares. I really appreciate the type of movie that will keep me up at night wondering if every creak in the house is someone after me. One scene from The Conjuring really sticks in my head. I remember watching it for the first time when it came out in 2013 and thinking how artfully done the scares were. There are some jump scares, some creepy children, some demonic possession – this movie had it all!
The scene that really got me, however, was when the two daughters are in their shared bedroom at night and one girl is woken up by some invisible figure. The little one starts crying, pointing at an empty corner, and asking, “Do you see it?” and whispering, “There’s someone standing over there”.
The older sister gets up to prove there is nothing there while the younger one begs her not to do it. By that point, the younger one is a mess of shuddering sobs and she points right to the older sister and says, “Oh my god, it’s standing right behind you.” I think the credit belongs to the two young actresses here as we are not shown any monster or demon. We are only shown what seems to be a dark, empty room. The little girl’s upset and panic truly moved me and her words were whispered so dramatically that I still get chills thinking about it. A moment later, the door slams which breaks the intense, nervous quiet, but even that isn’t as scary as the conversation they are having. This is by far the scariest scene I’ve experienced in any film.”
Like I said a masterclass in horror.
What can trump those scary moments? Monsters? Killers? Student loans? BEING A FUNCTIONING ADULT WHILE BALANCING A WORKING CAREER AND SOCIAL LIFE. PONDERING THE INFINITE EXISTENTIAL QUESTION, AM I HERE TO WORK ON THIS PLANET AND PROPAGATE? IS THAT ALL THERE IS TO LIFE?
Let’s see what our newest critic has to say.
ELLA FIORE: PARANORMAL ACTIVITY
Paranormal Activity swept the world over in a vain similar to the Blair Witch Project. A found footage film following a “real” ghost haunting happening to “real” people that are named in the credits as actors. Pssh! Lame! I thought to myself as I headed home from school to drop off my bag and dress in my punk attire. Pretty soon I got a call asking me to go see Paranormal Activity my immediate answer was no. Until the prospect came that girls would be there. My disposition towards seeing the film immediately changed.
With about as much charisma as a volcanic pus-filled cactus that I was, I entered into a new subgenre of horror with an intent for romance. Instead, the long drawn out hanging cameras broke me. Eventually, the anticipation for something to happen on screen had me jumping and wincing every time something moved. The charismatic, prickly punk was reduced to a jittering fool by the time the lights re-emerged.
But what did Ella Fiore think?
“I went into Paranormal Activity with the usual casual attitude of Friday night Netflix “something to watch” mentality. But almost Immediately I was gripped by how surreal it all felt. There was something so chilling about the cameras in the house and the events that unfurled. By the time it got to the scene where the girl gets grabbed by an invisible demon, I was already trembling.
The girl enters the room to check on the baby. Deep down you know something is going to happen and it may be simple but damn does it catch me off guard every time! Just when the scene has gone on a little too long for a jump scare, the girl is grabbed by the legs, dragged through the door and down the stairs by an invisible entity. It scared me on multiple layers. Firstly, IT IS INVISIBLE! Second, demons invading your home terrorizing you is just a horrible thought, and last but not least its the fact that nothing can be done about it. This thing just never goes away. It’s super strong and can possess anyone! Nightmare fuel!”
Hmmm, indeed unsettling memories, both of the film and the theatre. My turn now:
“I think at this stage everyone and their moms know Alien is a certified classic. It was essentially a grindhouse/slasher/sci-fi movie in everything but the execution. So what was it that was so scary? All they really did was swap out a house for a spaceship. Well, it wasn’t the apex killer known as the Xenomorph. Nooooo. It was long before the beast was even seen in the film. I think I watched this when I was about twelve or thirteen. It was featured on Saturday night on my local TV station, I knew absolutely nothing about the franchise or any of it’s associated media (this was before anyone here had internet access that wasn’t dial-up). So I didn’t know what to expect really. A bit of a lead-in before the scene the got me. When the crew of the Nostromo land on the planet and emerge into a derelict spacecraft that is only inhabited by the mysterious, dead space jockey, the whole area sent the chills up me. I was expecting an alien and I got one — just not the kind I thought of when I hear the word alien. I can imagine in 1979 no-one was ready for this. The crew comes across a bay area filled with fleshy sacs of some sort. Before long, one sack manages to open and, of course, a crew member sticks his head directly over it. WHAM! Facehugger! The guy drops to the floor and that’s it I think, he’s dead, but no, Alien is far more complex than that. This is merely the drunken back seat romance of this beast’s life cycle. The crew get the unconscious man aboard their vessel and begin an autopsy after it seemingly drops off dead from the man’s face. They go through what happens when it attaches to the face. How the inner tongue like tendril goes deep down into the chest cavity while the victim is still paralyzed but totally aware! The facehugger itself is a spider-like object with legs like fingers along tail that wraps around the victim’s throat and an inner opening that is eerily reminiscent of a labia (ya, at twelve I didn’t get any of the undercurrent themes of sexual violence until much later). It is fleshy and sticky and tan looking and just all around gross. So the guy wakes up good as new with a newfound hunger he eats and eats until he drops from what is seemingly a heart attack? No. The facehugger planted a goddamn egg in him that gestates quickly and chews its way through the victim’s chest cavity! How gross is that?
I stopped right there, turned off the TV, and tried to forget what I just saw. For so many years I have been terrified of that movie. Obviously, I watched it again and have since fallen truly in love with it. I realized I shouldn’t fear the alien, I should be more scared of 20th Century Fox’s ability to stick onto my face and suck the money right out of me. Then lay the egg of ALIEN RESURRECTION in my chest that came bursting out and made me sick by how hammy and crap that one totally is! So there ya go, folks, moral of the story sequels are never better.”
So that is our list of the moments that made our skin crawl, so did you agree with us? Or maybe you have a unique moment that scared you? Let us know in the comments below!
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