Released: 1981
Starring: Richard Benjamin, Paula Prentiss, Severn Darden, Jeffrey Tambor, Kari Michaelsen
Directed by: Howard R. Cohen
Distributor: New World Pictures
“Just when you thought it was safe to look at the calendar again.”
John and Mary Hyatt have just inherited a cursed house from John’s deceased uncle. After moving in, their son Billy (Kevin Brando; The Incredible Shrinking Woman, The Octagon) unwitty releases a collection of monsters from an ancient book of evil. These monsters hover around the house looking to find and destroy the book to prevent them from being returned to it. With the parents seemingly unaware of the dangers of the house, Billy tries to undo his mistake and send the monsters back. At the same time, a vampire named Waldemar and his wife Yolanda (Nancy Lee Andrews; Scarface, Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death) are also hunting for the book as well as an exterminator named Van Helsing. Everything comes to a head on Saturday the 14th, the day the book predicts things will get worse.
Wow. What a great example of marketing exploitation. Released a year after the popular Friday the 13th film and the same year as it’s sequel, Friday the 13th Part 2, Saturday the 14th has absolutely nothing to do with the series its title calls back to. Instead of a psycho killer, this movie opts for the presence of monsters that appeared to be cheap rip-offs of classic film monster including Dracula, The Gillman, the Mummy and more. It even has a character named Van Helsing (Severn Darden; Battle for the Planet of the Apes, Mother, Jugs & Speed) who works for an extermination company. If you expect a spoof of Jason Voorhees or any other slasher horror character, forget it.
As with most comedy-horror films, the horror in Saturday the 14th is mild, leaning more on the comedic elements. Those elements involved dry wit, quirky visual comedy, light-hearted commentary on family. But, that comedy is more of a “shake your head at the ridiculousness” instead of laugh out loud. There are also a few times where it seems a joke is being set up and then nothing happens and you sit there wondering why a line was said or what was the point of establishing a certain situation. The characters of John (Richard Benjamin; Westworld, Love at First Bite) and Mary (Paula Prentiss; Where the Boys Are, The Stepford Wives) spend most of the movie oblivious to the dangers around them and this really pushes the boundaries of brainless rather than funny.
There are good moments for comedy in the movie. John gets a cup of coffee with eyeballs floating in it and delivers some solid lines including “Take this coffee, I can’t stand the sight of it,” and, “Without my first cup of coffee in the morning, I can’t see straight.” We also have recurring jokes in the film including one with the parents confusing bats for owls until Mary is attacked by them (then suddenly they know what bats are) and another about the unknown identity of a delivery boy who ends up trapped at the house.
As for visual humor, you are going to see things like a giant three-fingered dish glove of a monster who likes a clean house, storms that only appear outside the house at inconvenient times (like when characters want to leave), and a garbage can that has multiple ways of dealing with trash. These again deliver a head shake versus a laugh.
Saturday the 14th does pick up about the time Van Helsing shows up and informs everyone about the Book of Evil. Finally getting John and Mary a little on board and works with the family to stop the monsters. The plan involves the use of unlikable relatives who are coming to a housewarming party, but they end up as fodder for the monsters. And everything culminates to a showdown between Van Helsing and Waldemar (Jeffrey Tambor; …And Justice for All, Hellboy) for control of the Book of Evil.
Costuming in the movie is low budget quality. The monsters are men in full body suits with little movement capable through their masks, so some of them constantly stand around with their mouths open. Also, there are some glaring mistakes like the Gilman having scaled boots instead of feet. The effects for things like magic or the vampires turning into bats use visual effects that while it is not the worst I have ever seen, don’t look that good when put onto DVD after aging for over thirty years. Other practical effects are fine and aging will probably never hurt them (fire and smoke in the garbage can, bookshelves not releasing books, etc). Background music and sounds are ok, but are not anything special.
On a more positive note, the acting is pretty solid. Everyone delivers their lines with conviction to the parts and you don’t get the feeling that anyone is phoning it in or doesn’t know how to act as you tend to get with similar films. Jeffrey Tambor as a vampire is fun to watch and Kevin Brando gives his performance with an ease and normality that child actors are sometimes missing. Richard Benjamin does seem a little flat at times, but that appears to have more to do with the character than the actor (so it is a feather in his hat for working within the role).
I have seen Saturday the 14th on VHS and DVD and the DVD is only a little better (which may be attributed to the age of the VHS tape). The DVD was released in 2001 by New Concorde Home Entertainment and is now out of print. It is a little grainy in the dark areas and soft when it comes to focus. There are even scratches and pitting showing in the film. It is not anywhere near unwatchable though. Just don’t expect a remaster if you pick up the DVD somewhere. It is available digitally, but my guess is the quality is the same. There are only a few extras on the DVD including trailers for Saturday the 14th, Saturday the 14th Strikes Back, Invisible Mom, and Mom Can I Keep Her. Also on the DVD are now outdated biographies of the actors and producers of the film.
This is a bad comedy movie that will probably get worse for audiences as time goes on. The comedy at this point doesn’t deliver a lot of laughs and the horror is at family focus level. The costuming and effects are not that great either. However, this film does have a cult following and at the time was popular enough to spawn a sequel about seven years later (but it has no connection to this movie beyond the title). If you like dry humor, a fan of any of the actors in the movie, or like me enjoy a bad movie then you might want to give Saturday the 14th a watch. If none of this applies to you though, you will probably turn this off after a few minutes.
Rating:
Jack Savage:
While I am giving this 2 popcorns out of 5, I need to say that this movie has a good place in my heart. I saw it as a kid (who loved monsters) and thought it was great. Watching it now gives me nostalgia, but it is a bad movie for reasons I wrote about above. However, if you know this going in, you may get some enjoyment out of it.
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